Analog Sh!t: The Common Sense Hustle

Analogue Sh*t: The Common Sense Hustle

Saturday, September 03, 2005

|Cmon Assholes|

You know, what? You're an asshole.

I've been wanting to relay this message to a mass number of people over this past week.
Oxford American Dictionary defines an asshole is an irritating or contemptible person. What Oxford American Dictionary failed to add, is that an asshole is an irritating or contemptible person with no reason to be such a way. I don't care what excuse you make up for yourself:( ie. " i came from a bad home","the kids on the block used to punch me in the stomach daily", "i didn't get that one dream job i'd always wanted", "i have a small penis") the fact still remains that there is no viable reason for a person to be an asshole. It just is.
The following people (who are unnamed, because the term Asshole was the term most fitting for them, are freaking assholes).

-You, girl(s) in my Work In America class are assholes bc you wanted to talk about Bush and the economy for 30 minutes when that was not the current topic of class. I am not paying 500 some odd dollars a credit to hear your stupid theories on why Bush isn't a good leader. We were talking about classes in America, and the professor did everything but shout right in your face to "shut the fuck up".This is not your class, let the fucking professor speak.

-You, amatuer actor in my show callback, are an asshole. Well, at least you looked like an asshole when you were doing all these stupid stretches before they even told us that we were dancing. Really, a lot of you theatre snobs are assholes, this is part of the reason I changed my major. I don't want to hear you talk everyday about what shows you think are the greatest contribution to society as a whole, virtually, that shit doesn't matter 2 cents...just do your little monologue and shut up.

-You, ignorant girl I told about Kanye West's 'outburst' on NBC, are an asshole. "Fuck him" was your reply. "Oh, you don't like him?" I said. "No," you said "he's too cocky." " He just got up on national tv and told basically the whole united states that ou president doesn't care about black people." "So, whatever, who COULDN'T do that."
What famous black person is going to risk their fame, and even moreso their safety (because don't act like Kanye can't get MLK Jr'ed out this thing) and say something like that? And you're effed up over the fact that "he's too cocky"? You, are an asshole, and a drone. You can't be that personable about a person you don't personally know.

-You're an asshole if you apologize for not talking to me even after I send/leave you messages. And most likely apologize later.

-You're an asshole if you think head is a parting gift and I don't know you.

The world is full of assholes, are you one? Then stop. It's not really hard. The funniest thing about unimportant and common assholes are there are assholes with actual pull that would demolish them in an asshole competition, and yet they STILL have the nerve to be assholes.

So, in other news. I've come to college. It's nice here. I take classes, including a math class that teaches me long division by hand. I'm really lucky. I want to take guitar next semester. My roomate is okay. I found out how to use my IPOD. It saves me encounters with assholes in the process of getting from one class to another. There are parties. I'm too ADD for them to really hold my attention for long enough. Philly guys wear like, capri pants...it's weird. I auditioned for fall shows and I made call backs. I really just did it for them to know who I am. I didn't get cast, but at least now, they know my name. There are shows around the city forever. Everyone went home for labor day. I don't need to go to Virginia to do the same thing there I would be doing here now.
This is all.

-M.

0 comments effuimpretty @ 2:35 PM

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